I am a 50-year old woman. About 6 months ago I started experiencing hot sensations in my body starting at my legs and working up to my forehead. I think its hot flashes. My husband doesn’t seem to understand at all, and accuses me of lying to him. This causes great anxiety and stress when I get to bed. It is an ongoing problem every night and we seem to argue about it all the time. It makes going to bed very stressful. Can you please help me to understand what is going on, and how to explain it to my husband?

Thank you,

Karen

Answer:

It’s hard enough for a woman to come to terms with her changing body during menopause without having more stress piled onto her shoulders by an un-sympathetic husband. Indeed, hot flashes are a very common symptom of menopause. In fact they can be so uncomfortable that a woman can’t sleep, has to miss social gatherings and – gasp – loses interest in sex. Your husband’s accusations can only be adding to your already stressful situation.

Is your husband a fast reader? The reason why I ask is because there have been some great books written within the last little while on the topic of helping husbands understand what their wives are going through during menopause.

One book that deserves mention is “No, It's Not Hot In Here”: A Husbands Guide to Menopause by *** Roth. This book can be found on Amazon, and it actually discusses those husbands that don’t believe their wives menopausal symptoms. In a comment directly taken from the book, the author comments about hot flashes; Roth says “it's important to realize she's not doing this on purpose.” This book isn’t a heavy read, filled with medical jargon. It’s just a common sense explanation of what goes on during menopause, and how husbands can understand and help their wives through this natural process. Other useful reading material can be found in our Menopause Books section.

This sounds like the perfect book for you and your hubby. Good luck!